What Drives Us Crazy Could Actually Be Genius

What Drives Us Crazy Could Actually Be Genius

I was reflecting on a Ted Talk that I viewed a while ago about how the very things that drive us crazy in our kids may actually be their genius.  I haven’t been able to find the reference to post the talk, but the essence of the talk was that our kids can drive us mad at times, but the very behavior that we observe in them, may actually be their genius.  I think this is worth pondering because it fits so well with what we know about SDI 2.0 and how people behave.

Kids are little humans trying to learn how to express who they are in socially acceptable ways.  They have gifts and talents and personalities.  But who they are hasn’t been developed yet.  They are in process.  That process can be agonizing, especially for parents.  What do you do with a stubborn child who insists on doing things their own way?  They can drive you crazy!  Why can’t they just conform and listen to your instructions?  SDI teaches us that stubbornness is the overdone strength of someone who is persevering.  A child doesn’t yet know how to use the strength of persevering in a way that is not overdone.  They need to learn what this looks like.  This is the role of the parent.

Let us not forget that persevering is a very positive strength.  In the process of addressing the behavior of being stubborn, we don’t want to lose the “genius” of persevering.  That annoying stubborn behavior may one day, when harnessed and used appropriately, discover the cure for cancer or lead a movement to solve world hunger.  A child is exploring the use of their strengths to achieve their motivation.  No doubt, the child’s heart may be inclined to selfishness.  But let’s keep in mind that the very behavior that is driving us crazy may actually contain some seed of genius that when nurtured may be a blessing to the world.

Having the perspective of seeing kids as having genius that need to be refined and developed may help us know better how to discipline and encourage.  SDI helps us gain a new perspective on what is happening when we observe behavior.  A strength overdone is a strength that hasn’t been developed in a way that is effective when working with other people.

When kids grow up and haven’t figured out how to use their strengths in appropriate ways with people, they continue to drive us crazy!  We wonder why they act that way, but oftentimes they are not aware of how they are being perceived by other people.  We may think we are being flexible but the people around us see us as unpredictable.  We may feel like we are confident in our views, but others view us as arrogant.  You might be a very loyal person, but others view you as being blind.  Whether you are actually unpredictable, arrogant, or blind may be just a perspective or be a reality!

That is why we need community where we can be open and honest in our feedback with each other.  Small groups where people care for each other and grow together is essential for ongoing growth and development.  Consentia Group’s name is derived from the Latin word meaning “awareness”.  It is critical for us to be aware of why we do what we do and become aware how our behavior is perceived by others.  Awareness of our motivations, behaviors, perspectives of others as well as our soul’s passions will give us the opportunity to submit to the Spirit’s transformational work in our lives.

SDI’s teaching is enhanced by understanding the Bible’s teaching on the soul and the orphan spirit.  As Christians we are adopted as children of God and fully loved (accepted, secure, and significant) in the Father’s arms.  The drive for these three passions of the soul can rest in papa’s love so striving can cease.  Overdone strengths have their root in the soul that is striving after the passions.  Our behaviors can be implemented in a way that helps others.  The orphan spirit strives after the passions and has a tendency to overdo their strengths in a way that invites conflict and frustration in others.

We are all made in the likeness of God and are created for his glory.  I am convinced that each person has genius in them.  That includes kids that drive us crazy and adults that frustrate us.  I just pray that I can grow in using my strengths in a way that others can celebrate and benefit.  For that I need to keep growing in my perspective of myself and others.

Bruce Terpstra

Our President, Dr. Bruce Terpstra, has 36 years of pastoral ministry experience. He is a veteran of 17 years in denominational leadership and developed more than 70 new churches in the New York metro area and has given oversight to almost 400 pastors. He holds a doctorate in Leadership Development and is also the founder of 3KeyCoaching and the author of Three Passions of the Soul.