When Good Strengths Go Bad

When Good Strengths Go Bad

“That couch is not coming into this house!” My friend and I stood balancing the weight of a large couch while straddling the stairs of my entryway. As I glanced back and forth from the couch to my wife’s face, I realized that my top strength of “quick to act,” that had scored a good bargain on the couch without consulting my wife, was not making me seem like a good bargain to her!

Perhaps your strengths also sometimes show up in ways that are counterproductive to your relational effectiveness. Whether you are analytical, supportive, forceful, or any one of the twenty-eight strengths measured by the Strength Deployment Inventory relationship assessment, it’s shocking to discover that even the things we do to help … aren’t always helpful!

The key to the effective use of strengths is being aware of the person and context where we use them. A good strength goes bad when it is no longer helping the relationship.

So, how do we maximize our relational effectiveness through the use of strengths? First, the SDI relationship assessment provides you with a customized strengths profile—the unique way you use strengths to add value. Knowing your top and bottom strengths makes you more aware of the reflexive ways you tend to respond to situations, so you can stop reacting and become more intentional in your use of strengths.

Second, the SDI connects what you do with why you do it. Becoming aware of the reasons that connect your core motivations with your use of strengths dramatically increases your understanding of what you are trying to accomplish, which makes you more flexible.

Third, the SDI helps you identify other strengths that might be more effective in specific relationships or contexts, and provides you with reasons to use those strengths that match your core motivations. Armed with authentic reasons, it’s easier to develop new strengths as needed to build better relationships.

Finally, Consentia Group specializes in connecting motivations and strengths to your soul. Because each of us were made by God to give and receive love, the ultimate motivator for all of our behaviors is the quest for love. But only God loves perfectly, and only God can provide the kind of support needed to satisfy the heart. When you can also identify the underlying longings of the soul being expressed in your unique personality and strengths, the power of the gospel and the Holy Spirit unlock transformation in your life and relationships at the deepest level!

To learn more about how the Consentia Group applications of relational intelligence and the gospel improve relationships for individuals, marriages, and churches, contact us here. Whether for personal growth, team effectiveness, or leadership development, Consentia Group’s training, certifications, and coaching programs can help you get better results through better relationships rooted in a biblical understanding of the soul.

Del Fehsenfeld