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It’s normal to interpret your spouse’s behaviors (their “what”) by your own motivations (your “why”). In fact, it’s almost inevitable....

Most people use their strengths reflexively. That means they use about eight to twelve strengths about 80% of the time, based on what...

The big idea that the SDI unlocks is that the what of a person’s behavior is best understood by knowing the why of a person’s...

Would you give your sixteen-year-old the car keys without showing them which pedal was the brake? Yet the majority of us do something...

God’s Word teaches us to love one another.  But that is extremely difficult when they rub us the wrong way!  If you’re like me, you find...

Leaders are often the target of criticism.  They do their best to lead well and make decisions that will be best for everyone, yet they...

Consentia Group is seeing marriages transformed through our Soulmates For Life Couples retreats in amazing ways.  Recently I led a...

What is the most common conflict trigger for people?  I don’t have scientific research to prove what I am about to say, but after...

Listening has such a powerful effect on people that listening is often confused with love.  Paul Tillich, the famous theologian states...

One of the greatest needs we have as human being is to be heard and understood.  Dr. Leon F. Seltzer* says that being heard and...

If you are reading this blog post, you probably have someone in your life that exhibits controlling behavior.  Controlling people are not...

We all have preferences for the way things should be done.  But there are people in our lives that insist things be done a certain way...

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who says everything is okay but you kind of feel like they are mad at you?  You have...

Have you ever had someone go silent on you when you are in conflict? You are confused and don’t know what to do? How can you respond so...

Nobody likes conflict.  So why are we so easily drawn into conflict?  Part of the answer is that we don’t understand what is going on in...

Almost everyone I know hates conflict.  Just the mention of the word creates anxiety for some.  It doesn’t take much to recall the...

Conflict is dreaded by most people, but we find ourselves in conflict more often than necessary.  The reason for this is that the source...

Being a great listener is the best way to show someone how much you care about them.  By listening well, you demonstrate how much you...

Conflict is painful.  It is destructive to families, businesses, and to ministries.  It leaves people feeling like a failure believing...

Having been married for 40 years to someone who is extremely cautious, I can share with you some things that I have learned.  I’m still...